We think that one decision can mess up our entire lives, and in turn we sit there saying “God I need a sign, tell me what to do!”
Someone like me freaks out when we need to make what appears to be a major life decision.
We think of every possible scenario different to the one we chose.
In 2010 God had made it clear to me that I was supposed to go to Biola University. I had just heard of it a few months back and I just knew I was supposed to go. It was so clear to me that I didn’t apply to any other school to transfer to. In turn, I ended up receiving scholarships as well. However, when I moved out to California early to focus on my acting career before school started, I ended up not being able to attend that first semester due to financial reasons. I started to question whether I should even finish school, or just work in the industry. I was advised by my manager to go to UCLA, that it was more known, that I could live and work right in Westwood.
I checked out UCLA. It was big. It was overwhelming. Maybe if I was a freshman. But I was a Junior transferring in, already coming from a big school and not really looking forward to trying to dive into “Greek life” or some other extravagant thing to get people to notice me.
I decided to sign up for an extension course there, “PR for Entertainment.”
I found out that UCLA did not have a broadcast journalism program, just a communications program. They also didn’t accept transfers that semester, only in the fall, so I would have had to wait another year. I applied any way, and as the days were ticking off to start at Biola University I was getting more and more anxious.
This was my actual prayer:
January 3, 2011
“Dear God, I hate that I never know what I'm supposed to do. I don't want to ever think that I control the situation, because I want to put you in control, but I just don't know what to do. Should I be going to Biola or UCLA? I know nothing about UCLA.”
Funny hearing this now, given that I had said that less than a year before God made it so clear to me that I was supposed to go to Biola University, but now as time was passing fear was coming into play. Now career pressures and industry pressures were coming into play. My brain started to swarm with,
“Biola isn’t a name school.” “No one cares what you major in” “UCLA is right in Westwood.” “You can act and go to school.”
Now, I’ve always been confused when people told me to “trust” and to “listen to the voice of God.” I would go around praying in odd spots, trying to see a clue or sign from anything I came across and everyone I met. I would overanalyze everything.
Judah Smith, my pastor at the Seattle church, The City Church addressed this topic this past month in his sermon, “Just Tell Me What to Do!” and nails it right on the head of our absurd demands for God, asking Him to prove Himself to us, asking for a “Seven Step Program” to life, when God calls us to have faith.
He uses this passage:
This was just one day after thousands of people were miraculously fed from a little boy’s small preserves by a miracle done by Jesus.
John 6:32-35 “Most assuredly, I say to you, Moses did not give you the bread from heaven, but My Father gives you the true bread from heaven.” For the bread of God is He who comes down from heaven and gives life to the world. Then they said to Him, “Lord, give us this bread, always. And Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life. He who comes to Me shall never hunger, and he who believes in Me shall never thirst. But I said to you that you have seen me and yet do not believe.”
Judah says, “We want signs and steps but what God offers is a Savior. We want something to do and somewhere to go but God gives us someone to TRUST.”
As the voices got louder and louder in my head, I drove to Biola University and enrolled the day before classes started. I knew that God wanted me at Biola Unviersity and I knew that I needed to listen. I continued my UCLA class once a week in Westwood, along with my acting classes twice a week in North Hollywood.
Biola was a struggle for me at first. Everyone was already in their own little communities and I felt like I had such a different background and life experience than most of the students, but God was faithful. I was able to make lasting, impactful relationships as well as intern alongside interns from USC and UCLA at the top national networks in the broadcast industry, thanks to my references from Biola University. I was able to tell my mom’s story and to learn more about the character of God.
Some people don’t understand the meaning of getting a minor in Biblical Studies. That minor affects everything I do, all of who I am. Knowing more about the gospel will forever change my life, and it already has.
Obeying doesn’t mean we are going to receive praise from the world. But it does mean that we are aligning our actions with our belief, faith and trust in God.
It’s funny because we ask, we beg for God to reveal what He wants for our lives, when He has given us specific desires in our hearts and the Holy Spirit to do just that.
“So many people are ‘waiting on God for an answer.’ Make a decision off of biblical principles and God will bless you!” – Corrine Poole, July 26, 2013, returning from teaching in China for a year.
Trusting can be the hardest thing in the world. But when God’s heart is made so clear to you, you must obey. Obeying may not look like what everyone else is doing, and I personally have finally accepted that.
Judah says, “You know what Trust is. Trust is TRUST.”
He’s right. We all know what trust looks like. If we all wrote about our experiences every day, I guarantee we would start seeing what it means to trust, as our prayers are constantly being answered. We would be humbled at what God was doing in our lives at the same time we were begging for Him to “show us a sign.”
I think the question is, do we really not know what God wants us to do, or do we truly know what He wants us to do and we are just afraid to do it?
My message I want you to leave with here today is to not put limits on God, asking him for “a sign.” We need to trust, and even though we may have to take the difficult road at times and it will look like we made the wrong decision, we will be able to get through it if we constantly seek Him and have faith.